"Sgt. Meat"
500 word synopsis
This is the “as told to” story of Sgt. Mike Meath, a chiropractor and Iraq War veteran, whose real-life experiences in Iraq as a medic resemble the absurdities of Catch-22 but with a modern twist. His stories, shared over coffee, have been transformed into a script, making it an antiwar movie without being unpatriotic, since none of the characters oppose the war. The result is an engaging and entertaining narrative about war, full of chaos and absurdity, yet grounded in reality. Sgt. “Meat” is not a typo, but rather what some Mike’s buddies call him, since he is a medic riding in the “meat wagon” or medical vehicle. (Actually, this is the only thing I’ve made up; everything else is true.)
Sgt. Meat is the true story of Sergeant Michael Meath, a U.S. Army medic, whose experiences in Iraq highlight the chaos, incompetence, and sheer absurdity of war. Rather than focusing on heroism or reflection, the story presents Meath’s many near-death experiences as a product of both the Army’s dysfunction and the randomness of war. The narrative kicks off with an ominous event during basic training, when Meath and his squad are struck by lightning, foreshadowing the absurd and dangerous situations that will follow. On his first mission, Meath is sent out without any bullets. (Yes, you read that right.) Throughout his deployment, Meath finds himself facing death multiple times, always in ridiculous and unpredictable ways, far from the heroism he imagined when he enlisted. While in training in the U.S., his vehicle breaks down so many times he nicknames it “Broke Down Betty.” Despite assurances that he would receive a new vehicle upon arriving in Iraq, Meath finds himself stuck with the same unreliable truck. When “Betty” inevitably breaks down in the desert, his lieutenant orders him to stay with the vehicle, promising to return shortly. Meath is left stranded for two days before being rescued, a clear mockery of the Army’s “No man left behind” mantra. Meath’s brushes with death escalate in intensity. A mortar round hits right next to the porta-john he’s using, but it’s a dud, and his fellow soldiers laugh and joke about it when he emerges. (“I’ll bet you were scared shitless!”) In another instance, a tank gunner loses control of a 50-caliber machine gun, sending bullets wildly in Meath’s direction, nearly killing him and his squad. Another close call comes from an Iraqi wedding celebration miles away, where celebratory gunfire rains down on Meath when is “safe” on base. In an intense firefight, Meath nearly shoots a group of Iraqi National Guard soldiers, mistaking them for enemies. (The Iraqi National Guard were U.S. allies.) Luckily, the machine gun jams, giving him just enough time to realize his mistake. In another instance, a 12-year-old Iraqi National Guard trainee accidentally loses control of his semi-automatic rifle, sending bullets flying around Meath, who once again narrowly escapes harm. The story takes a darker turn when a friendly lieutenant, who was about to file the paperwork for Meath’s early release, is killed in his office by a stray piece of shrapnel while typing an email to his wife. Later, Meath is tasked with transporting the bodies of civilians who were randomly killed by a gung-ho sergeant at a checkpoint. Discovering over a hundred thousand dollars in cash on the bodies, Meath contemplates taking it, only to be startled by the arrival of two Iraqi morgue attendants, causing him to draw his pistol in a moment of sleep-deprived panic. (You’ll have to read the script to know how that episode ends.) Sgt. Meat is not about heroism or moral reflection, but instead focuses on the absurdity, randomness, and incompetence that define Meath’s experiences in Iraq. Survival is as much about navigating the dysfunction of one’s own side as it is about avoiding enemy fire, and it often feels like a matter of pure chance.