Current Projects

These are the six scripts I’m actively working on right now, plus one script I wrote years ago.

SERGEANT MEAT— Dark Comedy (Based On A True Story)

The U.S. Army is the greatest fighting machine in the world. But that doesn’t mean they’re not also completely screwed up. It’s not their fault. It’s just the nature of war. This is one soldier’s story of the random insanity that constitutes warfare in the 21st century. If you haven’t been to war, you’ll say “WTF!” If you have, you’ll just say, “Yeah, that’s about right.”

Status: 105 pages written so far. An Iraq War veteran friend sat down and recounted scenes to me that could have come straight out of a movie. Now they will. I’m stitching together the stories he told me. Meeting with him again soon to review and see what else I need to add. Will probably come to 115–120 pages and then see what the producer wants to cut.
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THE GRIEF RANCH — Drama

Six people who have lost loved ones go to a retreat for grief therapy at Socorro Ranch. Some go willingly, and others are coerced into it by caring relatives or concerned bosses. A respected grief therapist is supposed to be there to guide and help them, but she goes into labor two months prematurely and can’t come to the ranch. So the six people are left to deal with their grief without her.

Status: I’ve written 65 pages since July 17, 2020. (Though I’ve had the idea since 2013.)
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THE LIBRARY — Comedy

A friend sent me some headshots for my comments, and the next morning I woke up with an idea for a comedy feature and wrote 26 pages in the next two days. I’ll fund and direct it, and he’ll produce and costar (along with an actor from one of my previous films, and two actresses as local hires), and we’ll shoot it in New Mexico in 2021. “Two men who are not looked upon well by local society cautiously form a friendship at the library. Two librarians watch them with suspicion, but eventually open up. All four characters will enjoy much fuller lives by the end, due to opening up their notions of who is worthy of respect and who is not.”

Status: 35 pages since August 2, 2020.
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THE HORROR! — Slapstick Comedy Feature

Odd-couple half sisters Sophie and Elena join forces, with only 10 days to make a horror film. Everything that can go wrong does go wrong, and finally, when their monster costume burns to a crisp, they must resort to supernatural means to finish their film.

Sophie is a free-spirited actress in LA trying to be a filmmaker. Her half sister Elena is a novice but disciplined New York theatre producer coming to LA to work with Sophie on a low-budget horror film. They have only 10 days to shoot the film before Elena has to return to New York to start production on her first Off-Broadway show. After several mishaps and recoveries by their crew (who Sophie proudly found on LinkedIn), their monster suit gets burnt to a crisp. With no earthly hope left, they turn to supernatural means to finish their film. And just how, exactly, does that work?

Status: Currently 80 pages written. We have our location for free A professional monster designer is interested.
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“2012: The Ascension of Maggie Martinez” — Comedy

A young Latina is so convinced the world is going to end on December 21 of 2012 that she quits her job, gives her car to her brother, and…sleeps with her boyfriend’s best friend. None of this would matter if the world had ended as she predicted. But since the world doesn’t end, it’s a problem!

Status: COMPLETED.
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BIKER BABES — Comedy (Inspired By A True Story)

What does a biker look like? In this case it looks like a 63-year-old former high school homecoming queen in a small town in Michigan. Lainie rode for 30 years alongside her husband Andy—on her own bike, because she “liked the power to determine my own destiny.” But Andy died of cancer two years ago, and a devastated Lainie has not recovered. When her friend Jo invites Lainie on a bike ride to California to visit her mother, she declines. But Jo, with a little trickery (okay, a bold-faced lie), takes advantage of Lainie’s compassionate nature to rouse her into getting back on her bike. Once they’re on the road, troubles and joys small and large both push the pair apart and bind them together. But will Jo’s lie unravel the whole thing? And are these two biker babes just too old for this shit?

Status: I’ve written 40 pages so far: a pretty darn good opening sequence, along with several other key scenes, The grand dame of Jeff Daniels’ Purple Rose Theatre, Michelle Mountain, has agreed to do a reading of the scenes along with an actress friend. The real-life “Lainie” has graciously sat down with me and shared stories of her adventurous life, and those have given me much inspiration. Most of the scenes so far have come from my imagination, though, and Lynne herself likes to stress that this is not her story—it’s just inspired by her story. But I’m trying to keep the story true to the person I know Lynne Farley to be.
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書いて、ください = KAITE, KUDASAI = Write (it), Please — Comedy Feature In Japanese

Hikari says she can speak English and help make an important treaty for trade with the Americans. She actually only knows about ten words, but she figures her American counterpart will know Japanese. Guess again! He knows how to write the symbols, but not speak the words.

It’s 1854 in the small Japanese village of Inuoka, Japan. The local ruler orders a trade treaty be made with the Americans on the ship in the harbor, just as Edo (Tokyo) has just made such a treaty with Commodore Perry. 40-year-old Hikari sees this as her last chance to be somebody, and lies that she can speak English. Meanwhile, ship’s cook Albert Jenkins tells his captain he can speak Japanese. In truth, Albert loves the kanji—the 2000 characters used to write Japanese, but he only speaks about as much Japanese as Hikari speaks English. Together, they must somehow put together a treaty without being exposed as frauds.

Status: 34 pages so far. (And 17 translated into Japanese.) A Japanese producer has pronounced the opening scenes to be “hilarious already!” And he is friends with the guy who owns a model 19th century “ninja village” where we can shoot.
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Future Projects

These are scripts I have in mind, or even have scenes written for, but won’t be actively writing until later, although in some cases I’m doing research.

THE SILENT TREATMENT — Romantic Comedy, Silent Film (Mostly)

How the heck can you win an argument if you have to keep your big mouth shut?!

Andy and Caroline parted two years ago on not very good terms. Now they unexpectedly run into each other at a silent meditation retreat…

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THE OUTLIER — Sci-Fi

You can “hide your light under a bushel,” or you can shine your light in the world—and risk having it snuffed out. Kayla Andrews is an outlier. She’s a tetrachromat, meaning she has four types of cone cells in her eyes. Though she’s highly psychic, she has never really developed it. But Russian emigré scientist Galina Petrov made a career of studying psychic powers in Russia, where such things have been studied by the scientific community instead of simply dismissed. Working in tandem with an inventor who specializes in “resonances in the nonperceivable spectrum,” they just might make the world a better place. Unless the Russian government finds out what they’re doing—or the American one.

Status: Still in the R&D stage, with a few scenes written.
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SLAPSTICK — Techno-Thriller

AI gets a sense of humor…and that is so NOT a good idea!

I’m keeping this one under wraps for now, but I will say that it’s a techno-thriller in the vein of Michael Crichton films. It has the…

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ALGÚN DÍA (“Someday”) — Comedy, Mother/Daughter Road Trip (In Spanish)

When you realize your own best ideas have kept you stuck for years…maybe it’s time to embark on a real adventure! (Even if the idea did come from your 9-year-old daughter.)

When I lived in Tijuana, Mexico, a friend told me this story: One day her 9-year-old daughter came to her and said, “Mommy, let’s move to Paris…

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